I’ve been working on this post for about a month, just like in the post Ebbs and Flows I wanted to share a deeper side of my emotional heart once again. I’ve noticed life is full of a wide diversity of emotions, and unless all are seen as a whole, its hard to pull back from the less talked about emotions of loss and emotional weight. Since the beginning of this year I have experienced both many times and often find that working on the blog during these times was too difficult. Though it has been quite rough, I feel a growth of understanding and gratefulness of everything emerging.
Earlier in the year I lost my grandmother, from my father’s side, to cancer. She left on the first day of Spring and something about that made her passing easier in a way. It was quick and sudden for our whole family. We had experienced the affects of cancer before, but it’s just as painful if not more to have to again. She was a matriarch to our family and all of us looked up to her independent and lovingly stern spirit. My mother always saw her as “mom,” and thought if back pain could be diagnosed into cancer then maybe she should get her pains checked out as well.
Around the time of my nature walk , in April, we were waiting on the news from her doctor. A few weeks later the large mass in her chest was diagnosed as cancer. I was devastated. Cancer was back in the family again and this time in my best friend and mentor, my mother.
We did what we could to have fun to keep it off our minds, before and after her treatments. Its been rough but we’ve given it our best. Last month tension started to ease up when the Doctor said the mass had almost become non-existent. Today we got the great news, my mother is in remission! This endeavor is not over but now we are able to take a deep breath and relax. During times like these you really notice the importance of family, love and understanding. I don’t know what I would have done without my family and friends. Now that the emotional tides are receding I will appreciate each day even more than I did before. ❤